Glimpse into the waiting game
Time is just plodding along at the moment.
I am not working. I rarely leave the house. Apart from a couple of friends, my main points of human contact are with my parents (who are indeed awesome human contacts!). If I do find the motivation and energy to do something for an hour or two, like bake an easy cake, or have a cuppa with a friend at a cafe, then I am tired and need to rest for a big chunk of the day, and sometimes the next.
Every facet of my life seems to be on hold, waiting for the next move.
It is a vicious circle. Not enough energy to do much….don’t do anything….lose motivation to try to do anything…don’t do anything….rest, lose fitness, lose energy….don’t do anything.
However, as I have said before, I have decided to be positive and look to the upside of things. So though I write these things while I feel tired, and lonely and bored, I am still holding out hope for a change soon, and I will make the clouds part in a few minutes and be happy for the day.
What are the upsides?…..
**I am not overweight! Luckily, I am not one of the people with thyroid issues who have weight gain problems. When I was thyrotoxic a month or so ago, I lost a few kilos too, so now I am classed as underweight according to the BMI index. This means, although taking into account my very strict diet due to food intolerances, I can have a daily dose of treats! I just ate hash browns and sausages for breaky, and at some point soon I will have a slice of the cake I made yesterday! Guilt free! (And I have low cholesterol and low blood pressure, so bring on the yummy stuff!).
**Massages! I have decided to try and have regular massages. My first one was on Monday and it was deep, and painful, but good!! I haven’t decided how regularly I will do it, but it is something that will help, I feel.
** Although I get very bored, I should enjoy the fact that I am not rushing, and stressed and caught up in the fast pace of work and general day to day living. I know when you’re at work, you can’t think of anything better you’d rather do than relax on the couch with a book! It isn’t the same after two months of it, and countless tv shows, audiobooks, magazines and hours of web surfing, but I know I should appreciate the down time (however enforced and undesired it is!!).
I have an appointment with a natural therapy practitioner today. I have been trying to decide whether to cancel but I think I will go. Although I dread repeating my story and getting nowhere, the possibility of someone else’s views and thoughts developing a new idea that might help is too intriguing to avoid. Basically I am just hoping for some new physical therapy ideas, like particular massage types and acupuncture. I don’t want to start any herbal medicines at the moment, because I am waiting to see the endocrinologist. I have tried the natural therapy route with two clinics before, so hopefully, now actually knowing about the Hashimoto’s and food intolerances, this one will come up with something ground breaking! (Well, I’d be happy with just ground trembling!).